This is an example
of our "Business" article feed. By placing two small lines of code within
your HTML, you will be able to display complete articles on your web pages
that will automatically be updated each week. These articles were designed
to automatically adjust when placed inside different table widths and will
blend in well with any website design.
To display your article within a
table, click here for an example and to get the
code.
 Writing for
Mediocrity
By
Heather
Reimer
A while back, an Internet wit compiled a list of signs that you're not spending
enough time online. One sure sign is that poor spelling and grammar still
bother you. Good one!
Unfortunately, there are no online grammar police... just you and me, voluntarily
dotting our own "i"s and crossing our own "t"s. And since you want to go
forth and prosper as an Internet business, you're taking the time to do it,
right?
After all, as author Virginia Shea pointed out in her online book Netiquette,
"On the Web, you won't be judged by the color of your skin, eyes or hair,
your weight, your age, or your clothing. You will, however, be judged by
the quality of your writing."
Okay, maybe these days, people aren't as picky as they once were about speaking
and writing perfectly. Whether that's okay or not, is up for debate. But
if you lose coherency as a result - well, that's going to cost you money
and that's not negotiable, is it?
But, for those of you with too many clients and too much money, here are
a few guidelines on writing for mediocrity:
1. Do not under any circumstances use the spell check function or have someone
else proofread your text before uploading it. That wood be a horendus waist
of time and serbs no porpoise.
2. If you don't have valuable content, don't worry. Just substitute fancy
fonts, busy wallpaper and lots of blinking banners. Your visitors will be
so distracted they won't notice you have nothing to say.
3. If you quote someone, don't bother to get their permission or spell their
name correctly. Why? See rule #1.
4. Exclamation marks rule!!! Your readers have likely never seen this tactic
before and so will think that urgent punctuation (!!!) requires urgent action
(!!!) on their part.
5. Don't be afraid of large blocks of text. Readers see that dense copy and
say to themselves: "Oh goody, I was just running short of things to read!"
6. Bury your lead. This is an old journalism trick practiced by old journalists
who couldn't remember the point of their story. This delightful writing style
requires your readers to plow through a slagheap of details before reaching
the "gold nugget". Internet users are patient creatures with nowhere else
to go, so don't hesitate to ramble on and on aimlessly.
7. If you want your readers to take a specific action such as order a product
or "click here", don't state that outright. Subtlety is best. Give them the
benefit of the doubt and assume they'll know what they're supposed to do.
8. Which brings us to tone. Your written tone of voice is very important.
You never want your readers to suspect that a real live person is standing
behind their words or, worse yet, standing behind their product. Just pretend
you are a robot and the writing will come much easier.
9. Consistently utilize a preponderance of gargantuan words, even in localities
where a more diminutive congregation of characters would be sufficient. This
method, employed with great success by lawyers, will convince your humble
readers that you are infinitely smarter than they are and they will buy your
product or service out of sheer gratitude.
By following the above guidelines in writing your text, you'll be moving
the world one step closer to the day when the entire web is a syntax-free
zone and professional writers (like me) spend our days fishing cigarette
butts out of bus station ashtrays.
About the Author:
Heather Reimer has been involved in print and electronic journalism for over
15 years and is currently the Creative Copy Editor for
iGlobalMedia.com, a leading edge
affiliate management company.
Displaying Your Article
Within A Table
You can display your
article within a table with the width set to whatever you'd like, with or
without a border and your article will automatically adjust to fit. The example
below is displayed with a border to enable you to view the table.
Writing for
Mediocrity
By
Heather
Reimer
A while back, an Internet wit compiled a list of signs that you're not spending
enough time online. One sure sign is that poor spelling and grammar still
bother you. Good one!
Unfortunately, there are no online grammar police... just you and me, voluntarily
dotting our own "i"s and crossing our own "t"s. And since you want to go
forth and prosper as an Internet business, you're taking the time to do it,
right?
After all, as author Virginia Shea pointed out in her online book Netiquette,
"On the Web, you won't be judged by the color of your skin, eyes or hair,
your weight, your age, or your clothing. You will, however, be judged by
the quality of your writing."
Okay, maybe these days, people aren't as picky as they once were about speaking
and writing perfectly. Whether that's okay or not, is up for debate. But
if you lose coherency as a result - well, that's going to cost you money
and that's not negotiable, is it?
But, for those of you with too many clients and too much money, here are
a few guidelines on writing for mediocrity:
1. Do not under any circumstances use the spell check function or have someone
else proofread your text before uploading it. That wood be a horendus waist
of time and serbs no porpoise.
2. If you don't have valuable content, don't worry. Just substitute fancy
fonts, busy wallpaper and lots of blinking banners. Your visitors will be
so distracted they won't notice you have nothing to say.
3. If you quote someone, don't bother to get their permission or spell their
name correctly. Why? See rule #1.
4. Exclamation marks rule!!! Your readers have likely never seen this tactic
before and so will think that urgent punctuation (!!!) requires urgent action
(!!!) on their part.
5. Don't be afraid of large blocks of text. Readers see that dense copy and
say to themselves: "Oh goody, I was just running short of things to read!"
6. Bury your lead. This is an old journalism trick practiced by old journalists
who couldn't remember the point of their story. This delightful writing style
requires your readers to plow through a slagheap of details before reaching
the "gold nugget". Internet users are patient creatures with nowhere else
to go, so don't hesitate to ramble on and on aimlessly.
7. If you want your readers to take a specific action such as order a product
or "click here", don't state that outright. Subtlety is best. Give them the
benefit of the doubt and assume they'll know what they're supposed to do.
8. Which brings us to tone. Your written tone of voice is very important.
You never want your readers to suspect that a real live person is standing
behind their words or, worse yet, standing behind their product. Just pretend
you are a robot and the writing will come much easier.
9. Consistently utilize a preponderance of gargantuan words, even in localities
where a more diminutive congregation of characters would be sufficient. This
method, employed with great success by lawyers, will convince your humble
readers that you are infinitely smarter than they are and they will buy your
product or service out of sheer gratitude.
By following the above guidelines in writing your text, you'll be moving
the world one step closer to the day when the entire web is a syntax-free
zone and professional writers (like me) spend our days fishing cigarette
butts out of bus station ashtrays.
About the Author:
Heather Reimer has been involved in print and electronic journalism for over
15 years and is currently the Creative Copy Editor for
iGlobalMedia.com, a leading edge
affiliate management company.
|
HTML Code
Copy & paste the code below into
the HTML of your web page. Change the width to whatever you'd like and place
your code where indicated.
<TABLE CELLPADDING="2"
WIDTH="75%">
<TR>
<TD>Place Your Special Code
Here</TD>
</TR>
</TABLE> |
  |
|
Web
Development
